Coping
by poptart711
Summary: [Oneshot...I lied] Athena was so young, so full of life, so full of potential. She was always prepared for whatever came her way, but nothing in the world could have ever prepared her for this unexpected change in her life: getting diagnosed with stage II cancer. And all she can wonder is...why? Why did this happen to her?
1. Earth Shattering News

She should have been more careful about this, though she certainly wasn't expecting it to be this bad. Besides, how could something like this happen to her? She was healthy. She took care of herself, made sure she got her daily vitamins, exercised hard whenever she got the chance, and tried to get as much sleep as she could. She didn't stress out too much since the Phantom trial ended, and she was getting along fine in the office she worked at. Not even her hearing was much of a problem as it used to be. Her life was finally balanced out and everything just seemed right with the world. Getting diagnosed with something like cancer was the least of her worries, until now.

As she dwelled on everything that led up to this point, Athena couldn't deny that she should have suspected that something was wrong when she found herself short of breath whenever going on her daily runs. Or that she was feeling more tired than usual, and when she tried to sneak in a few minutes of sleep when her coworkers were out, she ended up sleeping through the rest of the day. She really should have been a little more concerned when she had this unbearable pain in her neck that wouldn't go away, or when she got on the scale and noticed she had dropped fifteen pounds without even trying. She _definitely _should have realized that something wasn't right when she practically went twenty hours without eating anything and still didn't have the least bit of an appetite. Yet, she still tried to convince herself that she was alright. She was Athena Cykes and she was fine. But then, she had that scene in court.

_She was in the middle of cross examining a witness when she suddenly felt rather dizzy. Of course, being determined as she was, she continued to press on as if everything was normal, despite Apollo's constant asking if she really was fine. But the dizziness only seemed to increase the longer the trial wore on, and on top of all that she was starting to feel rather feverish as well. Apollo had asked her again if she really was her normal self, and this time she was going to respond that she didn't feel all that well and needed a glass of water, but before she could even get her voice to work, her body had had enough and she promptly passed out at the defense's bench. Hours later, she regained consciousness in a hospital bed connected to an IV and a heart monitor. After being informed by a nurse of what had happened, she knew now that it was time for her to come clean to the doctor about how she wasn't feeling like herself these past few months. She thought it was going to be something minor, like an iron deficiency or maybe some cold that her body was having trouble fighting off. But the next thing she knew, she was being wheeled off to do more tests and a biopsy, shortly after the doctor finished examining her. When she asked why she was doing all of these tests, her doctor responded that it was because he felt swelling on where her lymph nodes were at. That response alone was enough to rattle her nerves. _

_She spent a few more days in the hospital before finally being discharged, but even still Mr. Wright did not want her to come back to work, instead preferring she rested up a bit more in the comforts of her own home. As much as she wanted to start taking up cases again, she knew herself that she wasn't in her right mind right now, not when the possibility of her having a serious illness loomed over her, though she didn't bother telling her boss that. The doctor said that Athena would get the results of her tests and biopsy in a week, so in the meantime she was advised to do research on the lymphatic system, specifically any diseases and treatments that involved it. She did as told, but there was still some part of her that was in denial about all of this. There was just no way in the world that she could be suffering from a disease. It just wasn't possible. _

Now a week went by since the incident in court and her hospitalization when the doctor phoned her to come in for an appointment. When she was shown to the consultation room, she was not prepared for the news which she was about to be delivered.

"Your results came back. I'm sorry to say, Ms. Cykes, but the growth I discovered on your lymph nodes…it's Stage II Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Unfortunately…it's the low-grade type as well."

For Athena, it felt like time had just frozen in place as her mind tried to register those ground-breaking words. No matter how many times she replayed the news in her head, she still could not bring herself to believe it. Cancer…she had cancer…it just didn't seem real. This had to be a very bad dream. She was too young to deal with something like this.

Her doctor paused for a moment, letting her take all this in, before continuing on explaining just what exactly the disease was, treatment plans and remedies for the future, medications, but Athena could hardly hear her doctor speaking, as she was too caught up in her own emotions to focus. She found out about this type of cancer when she was doing her research. Evidently, the causes for it are unknown and that it takes years for it to progress before the person starts experiencing symptoms. She probably had this illness since she was thirteen and it could have been spreading through her all this time! And the low-grade kind…there were treatments for it that could stop the symptoms and get her back to a somewhat normal lifestyle, but there was the chance that it couldn't be cured. And though it wasn't likely she could die from it, Athena was still afraid. It was still cancer after all, there was no telling how it would affect her life. Just the thought of going in weekly for chemotherapy and radiation sent shivers down her spine, and…oh, how was she supposed to tell Mr. Wright about this? Or Apollo? Or Junie? Or Simon? How was she going to tell all of her friends and family that she was just diagnosed with cancer?

After the consultation was over and a word of encouragement from her doctor, Athena went home. For once in her life, she was deaf to the voices in the hearts of the surrounding people, instead just hearing her own. It was 5:30 in the evening. The sun was setting, traffic was starting to pile up, and the weather of the Californian air was cooling down. There were people waiting at the bus stops, walking to their cars, or power walking along the sidewalks as they chattered on their cell phones. As usual, life just continued on, not taking into account the struggles she was now faced with like it held no meaning whatsoever. It was rather depressing to think about.

Her work building came into sight, and she purposely took another route so her coworkers wouldn't see her pass by. She wasn't in the mood to face anyone she knew right now. As she half-walked half-limped her way to her apartment, Athena's mind began to wander for probably the umpteenth time that day. How much longer would she still be able to see the city of Los Angeles like this? How many more walks would she be able to take before she becomes too weak to even take a step? Would she start worrying about going to bed out of fear she may not wake up the next morning? Would people still ask for her to defend them even if her health was deteriorating? Would Mr. Wright even let her continue to go out investigating with this condition? Just what was her life going to be like from now on?

Soon, her apartment came into sight and Athena paused to look at it, silencing the questions in her head. Instinctively, she lifted her right hand and placed it over her heart. She felt it thump lightly against her chest in a rhythmic beat, just as it was supposed to. Closing her eyes, she took in a long breath and exhaled deeply. A comforting sensation washed over her as she listened to the sound of her breathing- though it was a little raspy- and felt the beating of her heart, reminding her that even though she was just diagnosed with a dangerous disease, she was still very much alive…for now, at least. As such, she was just going to continue life as normally as she could without questioning if today or the next was going to be her last. Because she was Athena Cykes and she was indeed fine.

Ready to live and fight another day, Athena jogged the rest of the way home, ignoring the pain and fatigue in her legs that the disease brought on.

* * *

**AN: Well...I just had to vent my feelings somehow and this was the result. I don't have cancer, but I do have an illness that makes living difficult. But I keep on moving forward because it's all I can do. I might continue this story, write out how Athena copes with this and how she'll receive support from her colleagues, once I get time for it. In closing, this is for any of you who struggle, whether it be physicially, emotionally, or both. Stay strong and live to fight another day. Have a good week.**


	2. Telling Simon

Late nights were going to be difficult now that she was more fatigued than she usually was, but the pent up emotions were relentlessly tormenting Athena's mind, preventing her from falling asleep. It was three in the morning, almost eleven hours since she received her diagnosis, and Athena was sitting up in her bed in the dark, peering at the low glow of her cell phone, and debating whether she wanted to do this or not. Her contacts page was open with Simon's name highlighted on the list while her thumb lingered over the call button. She was shaking uncontrollably even though she hadn't even made the decision to call him yet, but just the thought of it was making her uneasy. It was ridiculous, feeling so nervous about this. She decided she was going to tell Simon first as she believed he would be the one who would be able to handle the news in the most calm manner. Junie would no doubt erupt into tears and coughing, and Athena would feel horrible about it. She wasn't sure how Mr. Wright or Apollo would react, but she really didn't want to find out right now until she had time to adjust to all this herself. So obviously, Simon was the number one choice, but now she just wasn't so sure how to go about this. That, and Simon was most likely asleep at this point. However, Athena knew that staying up any later wasn't going to be good for her body in this state, and that if she wanted to get in a few hours of sleep, she was going to need to get the news off her chest as soon as possible.

She took in a deep breath and held it as she pressed the call button, listening intently to the dialing tone as her call was going through. If she was fortunate enough, it would go straight to his voicemail and she wouldn't have to tell him directly. She figured that would be easier. However, that plan was rendered useless the moment Simon picked up on the other line.

"Cykes-dono." He merely said. To anyone, he just sounded like his normal, grumpy self, but Athena was able to sense the tiredness in his voice. She started to feel guilty now that she woke him up.

"H-Hi, Simon." She said, uneasily. "U-Uh…how are you?"

Apparently, Simon wasn't in the mood for pleasantries when he responded in a gruff tone, "Have you any idea what time it is right now?"

Athena gulped. She instantly regretted calling him now, but there was no going back at this point. After a while of trying to gather her thoughts as well as her voice, she spoke again:

"W-Well, I had something…serious that I needed to tell you…but I don't know how I should…say it…"

"Hmph, is that all?"

The young defense attorney caught onto that tone, and her face turned red with embarrassment when she realized what he thought. With the way she worded that and the hesitance in her voice, he must have thought she was trying to reveal a crush on him or something.

"No, it isn't like that!" She shouted into the receiver. "And even if it was, how could you be so cold?"

She thought she heard him chuckle slightly on the other end. "Very well then. What _is _so serious a matter that you had to call me at such a late hour?"

"Simon…" Athena sighed and anxiously fiddled with her hair. After a while of silence, she couldn't waste whatever patience Simon had left and decided to just come out and say it, "I found out today…er, yesterday, that… I have…cancer…"

Simon did not respond, and if Athena didn't have such sensitive hearing, she would have thought that the line disconnected. But there in that moment, she could hear it, the agonizing cyclone of emotions in his heart. Shock, sadness, grief, fear, anxiety, and a little bit of anger…all of these emotions he would never once show in public were clear as day to her. She could understand his silence because with the way all of these feelings blended together, there was no way he'd be able to speak without letting them slip into his voice, but even still she wished that he would at least say something.

"What?"

Well, she got what she wanted. She nodded to herself and continued in a low voice, "It's low-grade Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, stage II…" Athena could practically hear his heart crying out with worry as she relayed the information to him over the phone. Unable to listen to it anymore, she tried to take on a cheery tone in the hopes that it could comfort her friend and give him a peace of mind…for him and for herself as well. "…But I can still live a normal life! I'd just have to do chemo and radiation every few weeks to keep the symptoms at bay. I'm also going to need to start a medication for my immune system, but it's just a tiny pill, right? I'm still the same Athena Cykes! I just have to make sure to watch my health…and working might get a little difficult…and it's going to be harder to exercise…" _Stop it, Thena! Stay positive! _"…but it's all going to be alright! I won't have to worry about dying for a while! And—"

"Cykes-dono…_Athena…_" Simon gently cut her off. Athena let out a tiny squeak, hearing him use her first name- which he only really did when he needed to get her attention- but obeyed and listened to what he had to say. "You should know I am no stranger to analytical psychology. I can tell you are trying to put up a brave front for my sake, which means that you can sense the discord in my heart."

Athena wouldn't admit it, but Simon hit the nail on the head. "Wow, you…you saw right through me."

"I've known you for a long time, Athena. Now, I'm coming over."

"Wait, Simon, you don't have to…"

"I do not have any cases to prosecute at the moment. Besides, have you even told anyone else yet?"

"H-How do you keep doing that?!"

She could practically envision Simon smirking on the other line. "Trust me, Athena. You need someone right now. I don't need your special hearing to sense that from here."

Maybe she really was more obvious than she thought she let on. She exhaled loudly as she hung up her phone after grumbling to Simon that she would see him later. Sure enough, a few minutes later there was a knock at her door. It was then that Athena noticed that she was only in her underwear, and quickly scrambled out of bed to find something decent to wear. She found an oversized shirt that was a hand-me-down from Phoenix when Trucy accidentally spilled some paint on her work outfit, and quickly tugged it on. The garment fell a few inches passed her hips, but she figured that was enough for Simon to see her in. Besides, she trusted him like he was her brother. He wouldn't be all creepy about it like some other men she had met in the past.

Simon stood at the door dressed in all black clothing, and Athena was quick to pull him inside before someone would see him and get the wrong idea of his intentions. Once she set the security latch in its place, she turned around to face him.

"You know, you could have given me a heads up that you were going to come over so soon." She muttered sternly.

"I wasn't expecting you to call me and give me the news about your condition." He responded, equally as sternly, if not a bit more.

Athena's face fell as she stared glumly at the ground, lightly hugging herself with one arm. "Sorry…"

"Think nothing of it. I understand your actions completely. Now…let's talk."

_Just what about? _Athena thought, though she supposed she didn't properly explain everything to him over the phone. Of course Simon would want more information about this, especially since this was her. She showed him to the couch before going into the kitchen to make some tea. She later returned with two steaming hot cups on a tray with a half-opened package of tea biscuits in between. Simon thanked her, and the two took the time to drink the tea and nibble on a few biscuits before having the conversation that Athena didn't really want to have. She felt that the more she talked about it, the more the reality was sinking in for her, and she really didn't want any of this to be real. She wanted to believe that she wasn't sick, that this was just a late-night get together with an old friend and rival prosecutor, but the real world wasn't so kind. She decided to just get this over with, and after mentally telling herself not to cry in front of him no matter what, she initiated the conversation.

"So…what do you want to talk about?"

Simon gazed hard at her, trying not to let any of his worry seep into his voice. Athena was most likely suffering through hell right now, he didn't need to stress her out with his own worries for her as well. "You can tell me when you started to suspect you had cancer."

Athena took in a deep breath. "I'll admit…I was kind of careless about this. It all just started a few months ago when I was feeling more tired than usual, but I just thought I was working too hard. But then I was finding myself short of breath on my usual runs, my neck hurt like crazy, I wasn't really that hungry, and…just stuff like that. But I thought it was just a cold, so I just bought some flu medicine. But then I passed out in the middle of a trial from a high fever, and that's when I was brought to the hospital. And then…the doctor told me he felt swelling on my lymph nodes…"

A part of Simon wanted to call her out on being so reckless with her health and ask her why she didn't go to the doctor sooner, but he knew doing so would only make her feel worse than she already was. And most likely, she had probably wondered the same thing after she had received the diagnosis as well. Instead he asked, "What exactly is this cancer?"

"Well, it affects the lymphatic system." She responded. "The kind I have slowly spreads through my body before I even notice the symptoms. So far, it's only gone to the lymph nodes in my neck and a few near my armpit area. They're monitoring it closely…just in case it might have gotten into my bloodstream."

Simon nodded, letting her continue. She sighed and went on, her voice more shakier than usual, "The…the doctor told me I need to start chemotherapy immediately, but the treatments are only able to take care of the symptoms. I'm at an intermediate risk right now, but my survival rate is fairly high. I definitely have five years. I might also be able to reach ten…and anything beyond that is a given…" She chuckled dryly, but Simon knew she was trying to cover up a sob and took her into his arms. Feeling surrounded by the warmth and comfort of his embrace, Athena felt safe enough to let her barriers down for once. Finally, she allowed herself to break her own vow and cried for the first time since receiving the dreadful news about her cancer. Her body jerked and trembled in his grasp, and in response he only held on tighter.

"I-I'm scared, Simon!" She exclaimed, voice cracking and her resolve weak. "Why did this happen to me?! I'm only nineteen, for crying out loud! The only thing I should be worried about is doing my job and making sure my clients aren't being sent to prison, not…not finding out I'm probably going to die before my thirtieth birthday or possibly even sooner than that! It's not FAIR!"

She emphasized that last part with banging her two fists against his shoulders in a not-so-light way, though it was nothing he couldn't handle. Her crying was getting louder, and in an attempt to not wake up her neighbors he held her close to his body to let her sob into his shirt. They just remained like that, holding onto each other for support and not speaking a word to each other. A few streaks of sunlight started to peer over the horizon and seeped through the blinds in the windowsill, and only then was Athena able to calm herself down to the point where she didn't need to muffle her sobs anymore. Her shoulders sporadically jolted when she hiccupped, and her eyes were red and wet from the tears that fell earlier. But Simon didn't care how she looked right now. Instead, he reached out and brushed her tear streaks away, just as he always used to do when she was younger. Suddenly, Athena lurched her head up as if she had heard something strange. But she didn't hear any noise, which _was_ strange. The discord from Simon's heart had gone down until it was almost completely quiet. There was still a trace of genuine fear and sadness for her, but overall he was rather calm. Maybe he was trying to be strong for her after seeing her completely lose it?

"When do you go in for treatment?" He asked, interrupting the silence that had been looming over them for so long.

"O-Oh, um…" Athena cleared her throat and sniffled as she clicked on Widget to check her calendar. "Tomorrow. They said I'm strong enough to withstand the chemotherapy, and they don't want to risk waiting longer anyways, heh…"

"I shall accompany you then."

"You…you would?!" Athena brought her hands up to her face in disbelief. "But Simon…you do realize that chemotherapy can take a while right? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd really appreciate it, but I don't want to…"

"'Be a burden to me?'" Simon finished for her, smirking faintly at the shocked expression on her face. "Nonsense. After all, you can't endure this alone. You will need the support from everyone around you to keep you moving forward."

"Well, yes…"

"Listen to me, Athena." He gripped her shoulders, making sure she was paying very close attention to what he was about to say. "You have experience with battling and not giving up, despite how bleak the outlook is. You push forward with your entire being no matter what comes your way, and the unwavering faith you put in your client fuels the fire within you, urging you to counterattack every strike of your opponent until you attain victory."

"…You make it sound like I'm more of a warrior than an attorney…"

"But what's the difference? Both fight zealously for what they believe in."

"I guess that's true, but what's this got to do with…"

"What I'm saying to you is this: fight with as much fervor as you have in the courtroom against this disease. Have faith in yourself, and keep a positive outlook that you are going to overcome all of this. What is it you do every morning that Justice-dono taught you…Chords of Brass?"

"Chords of Steel…" Athena laughed softly when she corrected her friend. "Yeah…you have a point."

"But I'm not finished. I trust that you will fight as hard as you can against this, but a samurai cannot hope to win a battle alone. Just as he derives strength from his training, so does he also receive strength from his allies. You have a lot of friends, Athena, all of whom will be willing to help you in whatever way they can."

Athena found herself tearing up again, but she was still smiling all the same. "I guess I should tell Mr. Wright as soon as I get the chance then."

"As if you need to question that. He is your superior, after all."

"You're right." Athena smiled up at him. "Thank you so much, Simon. I really needed the encouragement." She paused and punched a fist in her hand. "I promise you that I will fight strong and hard as a samurai and beat this illness! But…if things aren't looking too well, I'm not going to go and commit seppuku."

"Hmph. I wouldn't expect you to do so otherwise."

Athena laughed for what felt like in the first time in a while, and threw her arms around Simon, and pulled him in for an embrace. Simon was almost amazed at her sudden change in behavior and burst of energy, but then again…this was Athena. And it wasn't like that was such a bad thing anyways. At least even with this cancer affecting her, she was still the same, light-hearted person everyone knew her to be, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

The effects of not getting any rest last night and already being tired took its toll on her, and she soon drifted off to sleep in his arms. Feeling the exhaustion of being woken up so early in the morning, it wasn't long before he too joined her in the realm of sleep.


End file.
